


Unintended E-Rick-tion

by klatukatt



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Age Difference, Anal, I don't know, Incest, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Penises, Sex Lessons, Vomiting, aggressive morty, blowjob, but rick is a douche so it's okay, handjob, safe sex, top!morty, what else?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:51:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7301992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klatukatt/pseuds/klatukatt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Morty is a horny teenager and needs some help getting his rocks off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nocturnal Morty Emmisions

Morty had started sleepwalking; at least that is what Rick thought.

Rick was always too deep in his drunken slumber to notice when the kid would cuddle up next to him in the middle of the night but he had woken up being grappled more than a few times. That wasn’t the problem. Well, it was part of the problem but the BIG problem were the wet dreams. Sure, a kid Morty’s age should be having a few nocturnal emissions but did he have to do it in whatever Rick was calling a bed for a night? Eeew.

So Rick was almost getting used to waking up with a sticky, sweaty 13-year-old boy on top of him and his rant was always the same.

“Aw Jesus m-Morty, look at this fucking mess.” Rick shoved Morty over and got unsteadily to his feet.

Morty yawned and rolled over. “Sorry grandpa Rick.”

“Y-you better clean this (urp) shit up, cuz I’m not touching your shit.”

Rick wandered out of the room and left Morty to it.

~~~

Tonight Rick had fallen into bed before passing out. He was still very drunk but his head was full of equations and his brain wouldn’t fucking drown in the sea of booze he had been pouring into his skull. He was actually in his own bed for once too, if you can call the cot he had set up in the garage a bed.

He was almost asleep when he noticed Morty shoving him and squeezing onto the cot beside him. Rick sighed internally, his outsides much too tired for sighing or pushing the kid out of bed. Morty snuggled up and threw one arm over Rick who resigned himself to this fate.

Morty’s other arm was pinned between his body and Rick’s and it must have been uncomfortable because Morty kept shifting his hips. Rick’s eyes shot open as he realized what Morty was actually doing and lay still in a lazy stupor as he pondered if he had enough energy to force the kid out of bed or if he should let Morty ride out whatever weird dream he was having.

Morty was breathing heavily and suddenly whispered “Rick.”

“Woah, okay, hell no,” slurred Rick as he tried to sit up.

“Oh jeez Rick!” said the not at all sleeping Morty. He sat up suddenly but couldn’t back up without toppling of the cot. He grabbed Rick’s shirt for stability. “I didn’t know you were awake. I thought you were, you know, passed out like usual.”

“What is this Morty?” said Rick. He wriggled but was unable to move in any significant direction. “Y-you can’t jerk off in your room like a normal kid, you gotta come perv on your grandpa like some, some pervert? Is that what this is?”

“No I can’t jerk off in my room, okay?” Morty’s voice was loud and indignant. “There is always someone or someTHING busting in there or it’s a dream trying to sex kill me or a sperm robot or a hologram. My sex life is like some sort of punch line on a show for sickos.” He took a deep breath to calm down. “But you’ve always fought off the monsters that show up so this is the only place I can, I dunno, feel safe.”

Morty finally looked at Rick and his voice got harsh again. “Okay Rick? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Rick eyed Morty. He thought the kid may be getting nightmares but if his paranoia was this bad—

“Fine, Morty, fine. Just try to not make a mess like you usually do.”

Rick stretched out his arm as a pillow for Morty. He grimaced and hoped he could ignore what was happening basically on top of him. Morty’s hand tightened and relaxed its grip on Rick’s shirt in time to his awkward grinding. Rick tried to control his breathing as Morty’s got more flustered.

When Morty let out a little moan Rick couldn’t stand it anymore. He tried to push himself up and away but that made Morty’s hand fall onto his bulging underpants.

“Come on, Rick!” Morty was annoyed but changed his tune when he realized what his hand was feeling. “Oh, I think I could do something about this, I guess.”

“No, Morty, you don’t have to do anyth—shit.” Rick hissed in through his teeth as Morty squeezed him through his thin underwear. Rick struggled to get his voice back. “This is weird, Morty.”

Morty smiled shyly. “Weirder than anything else we’ve done?”

“Okay, point taken.”

“C’mon Rick, I’m tryin to get a nut off here and maybe I could help you for once.”

Rick slid back down. He hadn’t had a human hand on his cock for ages and Morty wasn’t doing a bad job. He lifted his waistband so Morty could pull it out. The kid was blushing but didn't hesitate to start stroking both Rick and himself.

Rick groaned and his cock swelled in Morty's hand. It wasn't long before Morty let out an exasperated sigh and clambered on top of Rick.

"Hold on, I got this." Morty's small hand could hardly hold both of their dicks together so he let his hips create friction between them as his other hand was braced on Rick's shoulder. He squeezed out precum from both of them and coated their cocks so he could increase his thrusting.

"Christ, Morty--"

"Shhh! I got this."

Morty's face was so serious Rick almost laughed but if the kid wanted to experiment-- Rick groaned again as Morty sped up again.

The teen didn't last long and with a high pitched cry spattered the old man's face with spunk. "Sorry, Rick," Morty gasped a moment later.

"Eh, this isn't the first or last time my face has been covered in cum. (Urp) For christssake, Morty, go get me a towel."

Morty rolled his eyes and threw one of Rick's dirty rags to him.

Rick watched the kid shuffle back to bed. This was probably a fluke but he would have to keep an eye on that headstrong streak.

Rick was both wrong and very, very right.


	2. Teaser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a taste of what's to come while I finish up the finale.

Rick had passed out on the floor of the living room again. 

Morty couldn't be sure but he thought Rick had been avoiding falling sleep anywhere where Morty could find him. He went to bed at the same time as everyone else and waited two torturous hours before creeping downstairs and bringing a blanket to Rick. 

Rick was curled up in his side, sans pants as usual, so Morty scooted up behind to spoon him and pulled the blanket over them both. 

The teen was uninterested in caution and began grinding away at the old man's rear. His cotton underwear was much too tight but he wasn't sure he could risk flesh on flesh contact so the straining fabric would have to do. He wasn't sure when he felt Rick pressing back against him but when Morty heard a moan he had to stop. 

"F-fuck Morty," Rick mumbled, "I gotta teach you how to really fuck me."

"R-really Rick?" Morty piped over his shoulder. 

Rick stared into empty space with a half-lidded grimace. "Yeah, alright. Fuck it." He threw himself upright and immediately fell over the couch leaving Morty tied up in the blanket. "Get yer pants on."

"Why, Rick?" Morty asked while trying to disentangle himself.

"What, you want Summer to w-walk in? Or your parents? (Urp) If we're doing this th-thing iz not gonna be in the middle of the (urp) living room." Rick leaned over the back of the couch and puked. "And find my keys!"


	3. Gettin' Dirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aw, shit, broh! Rick and Morty are really gonna do it this time!

Rick fiddled with his keys and the doorknob of a crummy alien apartment building. Or possibly a nice one? Morty could never get a handle on alien aesthetics. 

"This is Mr. Poopybutthole's apartment," Rick was saying. "He's in (urp)r-rehab or something but he said I could crash here sometimes." Rick stumbled into the apartment and found the lightswitch. Morty shut the door behind them. 

Rick looked Morty in the face for the first time in weeks. "What are we doing here Morty?"

"I-I dunno Rick. I'm game for some stuff. So, we, um, take off our clothes?"

"Whatever you say kid." Rick began to strip as he talked. "If this is r-really what you want to be doing. We could be hiring p-prostitutes or chatting up your little school friends, you know, but you wanna be doing this."

Morty glowered while fighting with his shoes. "Yeah Rick, I know."

"I mean should I be worried? Are you gonna keep going after guys that look like this?" Rick pulled down his pants suddenly and displayed his naked body for Morty. 

"Nothing I haven't seen before, Rick."

"So what is it that makes you want to bang me? It's the wrinkles, isn't it? Huh? Is that what your into?"

"No Rick, I'm not into that!" Morty was only in his t shirt at this point. "What I'm into is someone I can trust and-and you always say I can trust you so if that's true you-you get up on that bed, old man, and help me out!"

Rick retreated to the bed on the far side of the studio apartment. "Jeeze Morty okay."

Morty followed him over as Rick reclined coolly. He tossed a foil packet at the kid. 

"Know how to use one of these?"

"A condom? Yeah. Am I gonna get some alien STD from you?"

"(Urp) Probably not but butt sex is messy. Lesson one for you is use a condom for easy cleanup."

The most difficult part was opening the package. Slipping the condom on his nearly perma-hard teenage dick was easy.

“So how do you want me?”

“Um, well,” Morty sputtered.

“I’m joking, kid. We’re starting you off easy.” Rick lay on his back and spread his legs wide.

“Um, am I supposed to, uh, open you up or something?”

“(Urp) That’s a good point, Morty. But lemme let you in on a little secret just between us. Your grandpa’s rectum isn’t the tightest portal in the multiverse.” Rick tossed Morty the other item he had palmed, a small bottle of lube. “Just get nice and slick and you should slide right in there.”

It took a lot of fidgeting for Morty to find the right position, mostly because he didn't want to look at what he was doing. 

"You need some help there, kiddo? "

"No, I can do it." Morty put on a serious face and firmly grasped Rick's bony hip. With a bit of pressure and determination Morty's dick slowly slid inside.

"Shit piss cock tits." Rick's head rolled back.

"Is something wrong?"

"Thanks for the check in, kid, I'm g-golden." Rick stared into Morty's eyes for the first time this evening. "You're gonna fuck me now, right?"

Morty didn't answer; the question spurred him on involuntarily. His erratic, shallow thrusts didn't do much for Rick but it was a good time all around. Morty did not last long and came with a series of high pitched grunts before collapsing on Rick's stomach.

It was cute, Rick thought, the awkward way the kid curled around him trying to be gentle. Rick's virgin hunting days were long past--

"Did I do okay, Rick?"

\--and that was why. Rick sighed. "You did great Morty. Blew me away, man. Best sex ever."

Morty peeled himself up. "Jeeze Rick, you don't have to be such a jerk all the time." He pulled out with a plop and a small pool of santourm. He peeled off the condom and looked around for a place to put it.

"Just throw it anywhere, Morty."

Morty tossed it away as Rick gazed up at him. This was weird and it was never not gonna be weird but when Morty noticed and gave him a warm smile something surged in Rick and his cock twitched against his belly.

"Aw shit Rick, I've left you hanging again." His fingers gently touched the old man's penis. "Should I...?"

"Whatever you want, kid, this is your show." Rick closed his eyes and put his hands behind his head.

Morty began stroking the thing. He had seen some porn of blowjobs secretly on the internet and it was never appealing to him but since he was here with this cock now was the perfect time to try.

Rick sucked in a breath as lips touched skin; Morty was pleased to catch him of guard for once. It didn't taste that bad and the soft flesh filling his mouth was actually comfortable. He kept pumping the short shaft as his tongue explored the head. He couldn't take it down his throat like the porn stars so he experimented with his tongue.

Rick's hand touched Morty's head once before darting away. His hips tensed and rolled until Morty pressed his weight down to keep from choking.

"Fuck Morty, I'm definitely gonna-- hnrg!"

Cum hit the back of Morty's throat and he retched involuntarily; vomit bubbled around Rick's cock and out Morty's nose. His head shot back spewing sick all over Rick's pelvis.

"Holy crap Rick, I am so sorry!" But Rick was laughing despite the sting of stomach acid.

"Same as your grandpa's first time!" Rick roared as he grabbed a handful of blanket and attempted to wipe himself off.

Morty took his lead and started wiping down his forearms and face while chuckling. "Hey Rick? Isn't Mr. Poopybutthole gonna be mad about this mess?"

Rick sat up and looked around the room. "This isn't his place. Yeah I have no idea who lives here."

"What?! But you said--"

There was the unmistakable sound of a key in a lock and there were Rick and Morty, in the bed in the middle of the room, naked and covered in vomit and cum and santourum.

"Rick!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! I hope ya'll were amused. :)

**Author's Note:**

> When this fandom ships Rick/Morty it squiks me out because bottom!Morty is so common. I wrote this to make myself feel better about the pairing. And to teach about buttsex.


End file.
